Ozzy..

Some key background to enjoy this story:

• My grandmother is my hero. I would venture to say that she has been the biggest influence on the person I am today. I am a lot like her, and there are few others who understand my humor like she does. She and I also share virtually identical taste in everything from music to past times. I could continue, but basically you have to understand that I love her very much and I cherish the time that I get to spend with her.
• My cousin Brandon and I are 5 years apart. He and I were extremely close until he hit that "girls have cooties" phase, but recently we have been rebuilding that relationship- and that makes me very happy. Brandon is an amazing guitarist, and his favorite music to play is Ozzy Osbourne’s stuff.

Now for the story:

Tonight my grandma and I hit the road to go watch my cousins Zach and Breanna in the musical "The Sound of Music." When we got to theater there was zero parking in like a mile radius, so we found this residential area and parked on a street in front of this house. We started walking to the theater, and as we walked passed the house on the corner these three guys came out and started walking in front of us. They were walking really slowly, and my grandma and I are not slow walkers, so naturally, we passed those suckers up. (This is going to seem irrelevant, but I promise it will come back into play.)

Once inside, we took our seats. I was in-between my grandma and my cousin Brandon. We were wasting time, waiting for the show to start when my cousin turns white and whispers, "Oh my gosh! That is Ozzy Osbourne!" I think to myself, You poor child, you’ve slipped into full on delusions now, but I turn around all the same. Imagine my surprise when I realize my cousin is not, in fact, delusional. Ozzy Osbourne is sitting two seats behind me and there is no one in the seat between us. I promise you, no matter how much the following description seems to contradict this statement, Brandon and I paid close attention to his brother and sister’s performance in the musical. But we also spied on Ozzy.

Ozzy raised a few questions in my mind..

• Is it annoying to have to wear sunglasses indoors? I mean, I understand that Stevie Wonder really doesn’t mind it, but as far of the rest of us go, I can imagine that the darkness would get pretty annoying. Does it make everything black and grey like Pleasantville? I wonder if Ozzy ever sings the song "I Wear My Sunglasses At Night" as he is walking around wearing those sunglasses indoors at night.
• Who do I have to talk to to convince the women of America that dogs are not accessories? You see, Sharon Osbourne has not been informed of this. She had this little fluff-ball sitting on her lap for the entire performance. I was not convince that the dog was alive either, because that sucker did not move from what I could see.

All right, so the musical ends. Ozzy leaves a little early. Brandon practically tackles him on his way out the door asking for an autograph. Ozzy signs his name. Brandon is in shock for the rest of the evening. Now.. remember the three guys that came out of the house walking really slowly? Good.

We were walking out of the theater- I am leading Brandon around because he is still not quit over the whole Ozzy encounter yet, and my grandma and uncle are directly in front of us. As we exit the theater I see three cop cars, lights going crazy, and as we get a little closer I see three guys sitting on the curb, handcuffed. I kid you not, they were the guys that came out of the house. My grandma turned around, caught my eye and the two of us started laughing hysterically.

I not only have this Xanga page, but I have a Livejournal account that I update A LOT more then I update Xanga.  I have Xanga because I like posting funny or thought-provoking things I find or think about for others to read and interact with; I have Livejournal because I process a lot of things about my faith on it.  I keep this account public and attatched to my facebook account so that whoever wants to can read it.. but my Livejournal is hard to come by.  This is not because I am ashamed of what I write, but because I know how some people don't really want to hear what I have to say about my faith.  That being said, I wrote two entries on Livejournal, not too long ago, that I feel I should share with everyone.  Yes, they are about my relationship to God.  If you don't want to read them, then don't.

November 14, 2006 ~ "..mercy triumphs over judgment!” - James 2:13

When I was five years old my mom lived with my Uncle Teddy. I adored my Uncle Teddy! One of my fondest memories from childhood was my Uncle Teddy buying me a Barbie make-up kit and then helping me do my make-up and hair and pick out a pretty dress, just to go to the store. There is definitely a picture in my mind of me sitting inside the grocery cart holding a glow-in-the-dark wand, wearing a tiara, and looking like one of those porcelain dolls that you keep in a glass display cabinet. My Uncle Teddy told me all the time that it was important to always remember I was a pretty princess.

Something that I didn’t understand as a five year-old was that my Uncle Teddy wasn’t related to me by blood. He and my mom were best friends because they both knew how it felt to be shunned by society. You see, my Uncle Teddy was gay. I grew up understanding that there was nothing wrong with that, so when I began to grasp all of the controversy over same-sex marriages and homosexual lifestyles I was shocked that people could be so unaccepting and judgmental.

Another layer of this inner conflict came in college. I now consider myself a Christian. The Christian community has been less then kind to homosexuals throughout history. Why? I have asked this question with my Uncle Teddy in mind a million times, to various people. Why does the Christian community get so offensive when dealing with homosexuality? What is so horrible about their lifestyle that they need to be viewed as the untouchables of the twenty-first century? The answer that I commonly receive circulates around the idea that a homosexual life-style is sinful and this needs to be made clear to people that are living this way.

What a GREAT way to show someone you love them! Treat them as if they are less then human. That makes me want to curl right up on your lap and have you tell me what a great person I am now that I am just like you!

For months now I have been silently recording the judgments made by the people in my life- Christian and non-Christian. I was searching for the reason why humans try so desperately to promote themselves by the destruction of others. With some help, I came to the conclusion that all humans have an "us vs. them" mentality. In order for your beliefs to be correct you have to prove that everyone else is wrong. When we feel insecure or uncertain of our own belief systems, or ourselves, we chose to point out the flaws in others. We think by doing this we are strengthening our own identity or beliefs, but we aren’t. This never fails to set my Irish temper flaring- especially when I see Christians doing it.

Christianity is not about who is going to Heaven and who is going to Hell. Christianity is not about walking around telling people what is wrong with their life; we are not the authors of self-help books, and even if you are, STOP IT. I’m sorry, but last time I checked I am not God. I have no power to tell others how to live; I don’t even have the power to live a perfect life myself. I would like to share with you what I feel we are called to do as Christians: We are called to love God and love others. That’s it. Did you see judge your neighbor anywhere in that? Did you see blow up abortion clinics? Or burn crosses on people’s lawns? What about anything about "justified" hate crimes? I am pretty sure none of those things were listed- could be wrong.

Micah 6:8, "He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."

Colossians 3:12, "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience."

Count how many times in the Bible it talks about Jesus having compassion on crowds of people; we are called to be a mirror reflecting that unconditional love. I don’t want you to take this the wrong way. I love my brothers and sisters in Christ; when I am doing something that is frustrating to them I want them to point it out to me too, "iron sharpens iron" remember. I am not claiming to be superior to anyone in their ability to forgive and not judge I am just begging that Christians understand their position on this earth. We are not here to judge, we are here to share God’s love and mercy. You don’t need to prove everyone else wrong to understand that you are right. Deepen your own walk with God and if you are really worried about someone else’s lifestyle, get on your knees and pray for them.

Matthew 9:36-38, "When he saw the crowds, He had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field."

December 2, 2006 ~ Wrong With a Capitol 'R'

When I am discussing my faith with a non-believer I sometimes get the question, "What if you’re wrong?" I was thinking about this the other day, and I think I finally have an answer, but it is very long.

When I first began to understand God I did not cling to burning bushes or the blind being able to see. These are surely miracles, but when you are not sure if you believe in God or not, you tend to not take the miracles of the Bible at face value. What I clung to was God’s change in me. I felt Him tugging at my heart, I felt Him calling my name, and slowly- very, very slowly- I began to listen. I found it hard to doubt that there was a God, because I felt something out there trying to interact with me. The more I let God interact with me, the more I began to believe, and the more I began to believe the more God interacted, until finally one night I gave up; I got down on my knees and began a prayer with the words, "Dear God, You win."

The reason I get questions like, "What if you’re wrong?" is that Christianity sounds crazy from the outside looking in- don’t think I am unaware of that. I realize that what I am saying is that in 7 days my God created everything in the universe- both what we know to exist, and that which we don’t. I understand that my faith is based on my God coming to this earth, living a perfect life, and then raising from the dead. I know it sounds nuts, trust me; in fact, I know it sounds nuts because not too long ago I thought it was a bunch of junk made up to make people feel better about their lives, BUT in that "You win" moment, things started to change.

I now believe the miracles in the Bible happened, but in moments where I begin to doubt, the miracles are again not what I turn to- it’s the change in me. I can do all of the denying I want; I can question that Moses split the Red Sea; that Joshua stop the sun in the sky; that Jonah was not swallowed by a whale; I can even struggle to understand how Jesus conquered death, but what I can’t argue with is the evidence I carry around with me. I cannot deny the fact that God took an angry, bitter and broken little girl and held her close while she self-destructed. I cannot deny the fact that God waited for me to understand just how hopeless I was- waited until that night I said "You win." In that one moment I was defeated, but in that moment I turned everything over to God, and the black clouds over my head cleared, and I SAW THAT. I changed; I was happy; I had a desire to live; I loved. These where all things I didn’t have before, and I attribute that change to my "You win" prayer.

So, with all of that in mind, what if I am wrong? What if I changed simply because I believed I should? What if God doesn’t exist and Jesus was just a great philosopher? Let’s assume that I am wrong. Is it such an offense that I am walking around an ignorant but happy, loving person? Is it such a crime that I get joy out of serving others? Maybe you find it wrong that I tell other people about my faith, and encourage them to also find peace with my God. If someone where to start believing in God because of a conversation I had with them, you might see that as me leading someone into ignorance, but I have a question for you; why does it bother you that there are now two ignorant but happy, loving people walking around serving others?

If I am wrong, and I reach the end of my life to discover that there is nothing more beyond this world, I will be gone forever and never have the time to concern myself with the knowledge that I was wrong. If I reach the end of my life and discover that everyone makes it into Heaven and I was mislead, I will not regret spending my life serving others. So what if I am wrong? It doesn’t change anything. I don’t care that people think my religion sounds crazy, I told you already that I agree it sounds nuts. I don’t want to spend my life living only for my own success, I like helping others; I like sacrificing for those around me. I have a peace and happiness and desire for life that I didn’t have before, and if that is all some side effect for believing in something that isn’t there, then I will march on in my ignorance.

But I have a question for you. What if you’re wrong?

If bad habits were expressed on a track, I'd be the next Flo Jo.

Election Question..